"Does not work well in groups."

I've been noticing it for awhile, but since I've recently had time to evaluate my relationships I've realized this: the only relationships I have that are successful are one-on-one. I can't figure out what this means. I really don't work well in groups - and I don't think it's because in school I always felt like I had to be in charge of work groups. I feel like all of my friendships - even if they are based in group dynamics, have a much stronger, meaningful relationship outside of the groups. What is it about me that I struggle when placed in a situation with more than one friend? And I mean, it doesn't always happen, but often, something happens, and I never feel as much of myself when I'm with more than one friend. Am I selfish? Am I shy? I don't get it. I think part of it comes from my feeling that I still haven't found my great group of friends. I didn't spend high school with "the girls", although I just bounced from group to group saving up those individual relationships. In college, it's been two years and I also haven't made those clear roots anywhere. I love all the people I know and have built great relationships with a few, but I still don't have one of those groups that I definitively belong in, or want to be a part of. I keep thinking that maybe it will happen in grad school? Or maybe I will meet someone to marry then, and the fact that I never made that group won't matter? Maybe I really am a golden girl and won't make those friends until I'm 50. I'd like to say the fact that I don't have a real place doesn't bother me, because as I balked in my POW talk, my best relationship is with myself, but I still wonder when I'll get there... and why I haven't yet. Why don't I feel like I belong anywhere?

In other news, I saw Inception and while I did like it, I thought that me, being me, would be totally pulled in and somehow make it scary and now be totally wrapped up in it, but I'm not. I really just know that I'm real, and I like dreams anyways.