And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

today was my first real writing meeting with professor O, considering last week we just sent notes back and forth from outside her office when we couldn't keep up with each other. she told me to wake up (at any time in the morning, because I mentioned how I'm struggling with the concept of "early" and really do work best in the afternoon/evening) and to just write about "whatever inspires me" and it doesn't have to go in the order of that big, organized outline I made, and it doesn't have to flow, and it doesn't have to be perfect, and it doesn't have to be pretty. we will do that later. I still have time to get this together, but I want to like what I'm writing. that made me feel a lot better. she also told me to calm it down with stressing over getting it published, but I've just been stressed because she's had all these high hopes of where it will get published and what other grants we can do next year or later at any point and while I share all of these, it kind of stresses me out when I'm actually doing this and I feel like I'm just beginning. she also made it clear that she's confident that whatever I write will be publishable, which makes me feel pretty good about the whole thing anyways. I trust her.
considering how well this has all gone, now I think is a good time for me to take a nap. Professor O. thinks I have time, so I must have time.