"You can't go home again." - Thomas Wolfe

I suppose this is true. Because even when you do go home, it's never home the way it was before.

Coming home for this Christmas was sad. It was the first time that I really didn't want to go home, that home was a sad place. I mean, last summer I didn't want to because I loved school, but I knew that at least I could make money and go back to school in a couple of months. Home, although it wasn't as great as school, was still a mildly happy place. Home isn't a happy place anymore, and the thing about it is that because this Christmas is most likely our last Christmas in our home, and possibly together, we should be putting more into it. It's just hard when it feels like the world is going to fall in at any minute. Quite honestly, this makes me want to be at school more than ever. At least I can somewhat successfully ignore this from there, or at least not be faced with the reality of it constantly.

Regardless, all of this is happening, and at the same time, 2009 is coming to an end. This decade is ending. How great has this decade been? I guess it depends on how we look at it. Globally, this decade hasn't been too fantastic. Personally, it has been so many things. It's shocking it's ending - most of my conscious life (half of my life, in fact), has been in these last 10 years. As much as my family life is complete nonsense, my own life right now is pretty fabulous. Not to toot my own horn, but I don't think anyone would deny me that. At least I know that whatever happens to my family, I have a wonderful Spring semester and following more wonderful years of my life to look forward to. I just need to keep working at it. Now is no time to give up.